Stop fixating on the end objective

Hey, welcome to Social Motivated podcast I am you host Jake Walker. This episode is about where have I been? Why you should enjoy the process instead of focusing on the end goal.

Improving your mental health and daily mindset is an essential aspect that many people tend to overlook. This podcast helps people struggling with general anxiety, social anxiety, depression, self-love, ADHD, and other related mental health conditions find ways to overcome these invisible barriers that hold them back.  Everyone deserves to be happy; everyone has a purpose, everyone has something to offer!

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Intro music: Motivational Corporate - Medium1 by Lite Saturation is licensed under a Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Transcript

Hello. Welcome back to the Socially Motivated Podcast. I'm your host, Jake Walker. I want to thank you for tuning into this podcast. If you're new to this podcast, welcome to podcast that's primarily focused on helping you to improve your mindset when it comes to battling through mental health, depression, and social anxiety.

Are you tired of letting these conditions control your life? Do you feel like you're alone suffering through these conditions all by yourself? This podcast shares insight that you are not alone. I am a self-taught believer in understanding that you can reach your goal of overcoming these invisible barriers, but the only way to overcome them is by you taking the action.

Consider this podcast as your weekly workout routine for your mind. On today's episode, I want to kind of bring you up to speed of why I haven't posted in a while, almost two months that I haven't posted this podcast. And I do wanna apologize for that. Like everyone, I kind of had school work. And then another thing, which I'm gonna tell you in just a moment of what kind of block me from really getting out content for you guys.

So. I would say around middle of January I started to, I've met a girl on a dating app. We started to talk a little bit and things started to, to seem like they were working out. They. Really the conversations were really kind of coming together and I thought I was about to, uh, start a relationship and I was really kind of excited and happy about that because I feel like I've been ready to start a relationship and just to kind of grow and meet new people.

Well, kind of ended up where like a lot of situations in today's society of. People starting to ghost you? Well, this girl is kind of, we were, seemed to be working out, but all of a sudden just stopped communicating and things just fell apart. And that's kind of when my mental health kind of took a dip for a little bit.

So we talked for about a month or so and we. Met a date, but that ended in like five, 10 minutes within that timeframe, and I've been ghosted ever since. So I kind of really took that personal for my mental health sake, and I really felt like I was pretty down on myself because I felt like it was my fault, but I have no idea what I did wrong.

So a couple weeks ago by, and I'm just kind of a little down on myself. I'm have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I want to just. Slammed my head against the wall. I feel like my mental health has completely just snapped from all the progress that I've made. And after a couple weeks now, I kind of finally have come to the realization of like, why am I down on myself?

Why am I so hyper focused on the objective of getting into a relationship? I'm not enjoying the process. I'm sitting there just hoping for the end result of being in a relationship and just all those fun moments that you get to have when you finally get to that point. But I started to figure out that like this was not where I wanted to be.

So I think the point that I kind of realized from this all is that. I was so hyper focused on the end goal of being in a relationship that I thought that any time I talked to a girl and it seemed like it worked out and it just ended abruptly, and then I would just sit there and I guess you would call emotional pain for a little bit.

And the biggest thing that I've learned from this is you can't just sit there and be. Distraught over something that you somewhat don't have any control over. You were so hyper focused on the objective of finally reaching the, the goal of finally be being in a relationship that I didn't enjoy the process.

I didn't realize that you're gonna have ups, you're gonna have downs in your life. So being so hyper focused on. The goal that I didn't appreciate and enjoy what the process meant in terms of just enjoying day to day. I was so blinded by the end result. And I think that's a good learning example for almost any situation, and definitely for your mindset and your, your mental health is that you don't, you can, you're okay to have goals.

You're okay to have objectives. If your goal is to lose weight, if your goal is to have a six pack of abs, if it's your goal to have that dream wedding, if it's for you to graduate college, if it's for you to graduate high school, whatever goal it is for you. Having a goal is great, but just hyper focusing or hyper.

Putting yourself in that position to get to that goal, and you don't enjo, enjoy the journey that it means to take. Along the way. You're gonna have your ups, you're gonna have your downs. But to understand that all situations are different and understanding that you have to veer left and right, it's not always a straight on path.

It's not always gonna be a smooth road. And understanding that there's a bigger picture than just this one goal that you have yourself so fixated on. So when you think about it, think back to when you were a kid and you were going on a road trip and you were not impressed about being in the car for however many hours or however many miles, and you spent most of your time watching a movie, playing a game on your phone, your iPad, your tablet, whatever, and.

You slept in the car for majority of the trip and you never once looked outside the window to appreciate what nature had to offer or the cars that were passing you. You were so fixated on just getting to that in destination that you didn't stop and think, wow, it's great that I'm being able to travel in a different state and seeing all these different.

Animals and different environments that are around me. You are so fixated. You were so blinded to like a horse with their blinders on. You want them to go in one path. You want them to go in one direction and. That's the best way that I can describe it is if you are so fixated on a goal, so fixated on this objective of, you know, losing weight or if it's, you know, whatever it is, you are so missing out on so many different opportunities in your life.

Like, like any technology device out there, you need a reboot for your mind. So, If you have a, you know, if your device is starting to freeze up or if it's starting to overheat and you're just tired of it, you just hit the power button. You wait 30 seconds, wait a minute and boom, next thing you know, your device is fine.

Well, you kind of need the same thing for your mind to being, to be able to sit there and just take a breather to just sit. On your water, sip on a drink, or just take a deep breath and realize that like, Hey, enjoy the moment. Enjoy that you are here on this earth another day for you to stop and think like, yeah, I'm making progress.

Or man, I. Did hit a bump in the road, and this is gonna stop me a little bit, but I'm gonna get back on that horse, or I'm gonna get back on that road and it's not gonna deter me from getting to that goal, getting to that objective, but realizing that there's other avenues, there's other opportunities that you should be able to appreciate in your life and not worrying about one single thing and.

That's kind of where my mind has been the past two months is understanding that like you can't sit there and hope on just one objective to finally come to Flourishion, you have to realize that it's gonna take some time for you to. Get to that destination, so might as well enjoy it if you really need to get to that destination.

So you might be sitting there saying like, okay, that all sounds fine and dandy and I might account encounter that in your lifetime. But how do you deal with that? What kind of steps do you need to take for you to enjoy the process for you to not be so hyper fixated on one thing? Well, like I said, stopping.

Yourself from overstimulating your mind on the objective. So if your objective is to lose weight, start to do other activities. So instead of being like, I gotta eat healthy all day every day, can't have a break, I need to get to that goal. Have a cheat day, or have a day where you have a. You know, a giant meal or for Thanksgiving, you just have how, however much food you want.

Just don't sit there and be like, I need to focus on this one thing. If it means for you to veer off the path for just a split second, for a split day, it's gonna mean more to you. Once you finally reach that goal, or once you finally meet that objective that, hey, I enjoy the process. I know what it means for me to get to that point.

It's gonna feel so much better for you in the end, instead of just being like, man, where has this time gone? Where has all my life been? I just feel like it was a split second that, Hey, I'm here at this goal that I've reached, but I didn't enjoy the process. I have one life that I live and I. Barely knew anything that I did because I was so hyper fixated on one thing.

As we conclude, I want to thank you for tuning into the Socially Motivated Podcast. If you enjoyed listening to this podcast so far and you have not done so yet, please leave a rating, share, and subscribe to this podcast. This podcast is available to download on all major streaming services, so you never will miss a feature episode.

You can follow me on social media, specifically on Twitter and Instagram at Socially Motive that is at socially. M O T I V, all one word. As always, I'm gonna leave you with this motivational quote. A life of fear will only hold you back, step out of your comfort zone. I will catch you all on the next episode.